a woman, a tire that’s flat, a disease, a desire

Love That

DRA is in LA right now and currently posting and me too…lame and stalker-y but still kind of cool.  wish i’d gone to the concert tonight, wtf, i never see live music like i used to back east, like Jabe (even though he’s in Nashville now) and Christian McNeill who is beyond amazing on about a million levels.

if apple were here she would say….

Hey, man, don’t forget your angel - your Pa-Paw.  I have (ugh, had) one too and have a bit of trouble remembering that he’s not around.  But the other day I read this, and I don’t know why but I felt a bit better about the whole business of him (mine) being gone.  It was the day I came home from work - pretty shitty day but for no good or profound reason, just a day where you’re like, ok another one down now what, get up do it again so that there is ANOTHER one down and where the fuck is it all leading blah blah blah self-indulgence, blah blah, but anyway that’s how the day was UNTIL I checked the mail and my advance copy of Infinity Blues was in there and I knew that it was better than most other days because I went straight up to my apartment and read that shit COVER TO COVER which, honestly, I haven’t really ever done before - and I’m a b i g reader, like too big a reader, it kind of makes me anti-social because I sneaky would kind of rather be reading at almost any given time…maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it’s not too far off.  ANYWAY, the #1 poem in Infinity Blues that just made me stop, gave me goosebumps, brought tears, was pa-paw special and for those who don’t know, or maybe those who wrote it and need to be remembered of the moment when they were feeling it, it goes like this:

“

the truth is

i am always

getting my

feelings hurt

because they

are bigger

than me or

my hands

and i have

my grandfather’s

hands

capable and daring

digits

ten

far from

zero

making

somethings

out of nothings

being a believer

these were things

he liked

and pranks

he loved them

i miss him every day

i miss his laughter

and his football commentary

and eating t.v. tray dinners

with him

and his war stories

and how

he loved my grandmother so

so

so much

he had a hat

he had a cane

he had an overcoat

and a suit for when

needed

and he fought in two wars

and cried

cried sometimes

silently

as i sat beside him

both of us looking

out into the light

shifting through

the spaces in the

leaves of the

magnolia tree

in front of the

house

where i really

grew up

he couldn’t stand

Dave Letterman though

the way i can’t stand

Carson Daly

so there was that

but

easily forgivable

for the man who

said to me once,

“Ryan, you are not like other children

you are special and it will be tough

but just never forget this

if you never forget anything in your life…

Never…

Bet…

Against…

Yourself.”

That is who i would like to be

when i never grow up

for growing in.

“

davidryanadams:

stop fidgeting and relax

and then she would do that thing

which i dunno how she does it

but i like my new friend

she makes me forget what i was thinking about

and

i cant remember what i was worrying about

this makes me like her very much

it reminds me of all the special also difficult people in my life

who are riddled with quirks

which i would not trade for the world

and

our angels also who are the balance

the friends i know who know my friends

who know when to tell us to just…ok…

s t o p

and

b r e a t h e

these are the lovely people

the people you can’t help but fall for

for

the falling into

and against

like massive trees

in a crystal forest

RA